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May. 23rd, 2011

aint born typical

(no subject)

My last post went on a tangent and I did not summarize my weekend properly.

Friday night Sara and Stephen picked up Daphney, the guinea pig I have been pig-sitting for them. I managed not to kill it, it was good. Then they left to the Tippings (Stephen's ex-girlfriend's family that, while he is friends with the whole family and she has since been married and so on, should not be the only place Stephen and Sara spend their time. Yet somehow is. I believe Sara is more unhappy about this than I am, and I am pretty unhappy about it.)

Nessa and Ben arrived as well, for a minute everyone was at our house, then Darrick came home in a suit and carrying a briefcase, which made the whole thing hilarious. He has been working at a tuxedo shop helping out his friend for a week and has already rented two suits from them as he gets them comped.

Nessa and Ben and Darrick and I hung out drinking and smoking bowls then we went to sushi. Sushi was delicious. Ben is coming out of his shell a little so that is good. Darrick went to play poker and we watched an episode of Trailer Park Boys before Nessa and Ben went home. It was very fun.

Saturday we woke up late and spent the next 6 hours in bed. I'm not even kidding. It was one of those days. There was TV on the laptop and lots of sex and Chinese food. (By the way, the sex recently has been incredible. Darrick has been getting fitter and better at sex, I have been getting better at suppressing my gag reflex and better at sex. Also, emotions.)

Richie came over for a while and we drank and smoked more bowls. Richard and Darrick played poker and I played Guitar Hero all about three feet from each other. Sometimes Richard and Darrick would play a song or two if I read on the porch. It was good times.

And then the last entry covered Saturday night post Richard going home til Sunday morning. That entry went on forever but in fact this was about half an hour on Saturday and the first hour of Sunday.

After we had talked we went back into Saturday mode. There was sexing, as I mentioned two seconds ago, it has been amazing and creative. At one point we had to stop and regroup because he was standing on the couch and I was doing a backbend and someone was going to get seriously hurt trying to balance on that shitty futon. We both came out of sex-brain-haze at the exact same time, going, "Hey, wait, what? What are we doing here? Are you? And I'm? Well this won't work." I died.

Around noon we managed to get ourselves out of bed ie totally naked lying about and cuddling on the futon. It is finally warm enough to do that comfortably, and by warm enough I mean, "Not nearly, but it will do." It has been in the 50's and low 60s forever, this week is the first it will be getting warm.

I do not care, because I am spending Wednesday through Saturday in Miami. It will be in the high 80's. I am going to get a tan and wear my sundress. Fuck. Yeah.

When we get back from Miami, we are going to do a juice cleanse. Me and Darrick, I assume you assume that's the default "we" that starts cropping up and don't think I think I am royal.

Then I am going to launch into the Slow Carb diet from 4HB, we'll see how that works. Basically it is the same as the food changes I already was going to make so I am not sure things will be too different unless I really stick to it and cut out dairy completely. I have to stop eating so much bread and pasta and rice, it is atrocious.

Anyway, once we'd managed to get out of bed we were very very productive. First we went to the laundromat and used all four of the giant machines, the $7 ones. Then while things were washing Darrick took me to lunch at Cafe Mirror and we did gross stuff like hold hands across the table and starey-eye thing and feed each other bites of food. I am sorry, world, you have to watch this.

When we finished eating, Darrick and I made out on the street corner (sorry!) then parted ways. He went back to do laundry and I went to our house to clean. Unfortunately I was distracted for an hour by playing piano.

I read a quote that says it is better to practice something 5 minutes a day than an hour a week so, based on this faceless quote, I have been playing piano a little bit each day. I should actually have a learning plan, I could be learning proper music instead of playing pop songs off of tutorials on YouTube. Anyway, I will never be even passable, but I can play a few songs well.

Now I have even been distracted by talking about playing piano.

I eventually made myself get up and clean. I did good though, I cleaned the whole house. Top to bottom. Dusting, vacuuming, mopping, tidying, scrubbing, washing, rinsing, etc. All the rooms are spotless. Darrick cleaned out our closets and hung up all our clean clothes and took out all the garbage and so on, and I did the other house work.

We both had made the frighteningly adult decision that it would be really nice to come back on Saturday to a clean house with an empty fridge, no dirty trash smelling anything up, closets full of all of our clothes all fresh and ready to wear. I am pleased with us, this is a great idea.

Already upon waking up this morning we were talking about how refreshing it is to have a clean house. You can feel it before opening your eyes in the morning, that is how nice it is.

Darrick drove me to work in the WhoreTaxi. Have I mentioned this before? I coined the term after one time Darrick was watching me getting ready and seduced me back to bed saying he'd give me a ride in.

I made a big deal about trading sexual favors for car rides and made him feel bad about it, although of course that is not at all what he meant. Why do I always do that to him? I do it because I am horrid. I was saying, the other day, how I know that a lot of the time I am snarky for no reason to him and it's not personal, I just like snarkiness.

I like the cleverness inherent in a turn of phrase without thinking about things like, just because it is the cleverest mean thing you can say, does not make it less mean.

He said it was okay, it just felt like being on a rollercoaster all the time with me. "But I like rollercoasters," he added quickly. Ahhahahah. Erm.

Only a day and a half until I am on a plan to Miami! Possibly where I will be living in some months! Or something!

Oh my god, that last sentence sums up my whole life. "Or something!" Gahahaha. Back to work.

Jul. 16th, 2009

aint born typical

(no subject)

visited 31 states (62%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or Like this? try: Visited Countries

Feb. 5th, 2009

aint born typical

(no subject)

Breaking news: Castro has more balls than Obama

Jan. 12th, 2009

aint born typical

Good morning, it is not a dream, but a nightmare...

IDF Common Practices: Warning: DisgustingCollapse )

Jan. 6th, 2009

aint born typical

On Craigslist Posting for Tickling Fetish Videos

iloveamphora (12:30:03 AM): i hate being tickled but I'll like it for that kind of money
iloveamphora (12:30:09 AM): better than being pooped on

Dec. 31st, 2008

aint born typical

What War Looks Like

Dec. 28th, 2008

aint born typical

(no subject)

Catherine alerted me to the shit that is going down in Gaza. You should all go read about it and become properly enraged, etc.

But if like me you read about it and it makes you sick to your stomach and want to cry, here is something to cheer you up:

A Massive Failure for the Swedes">

Dec. 23rd, 2008

aint born typical

(no subject)

This is my favorite picture of myself during college.

Today was okay.

I'm gonna eat some food and watch skins.

Sep. 15th, 2008

aint born typical

(no subject)


Gratuitous crotch shot. That kind of gift don't need a bow on it.

Aug. 25th, 2008

aint born typical

(no subject)

I just went and looked at all my stuff piled in the garage. I stared at it a while. Stood and stared.

Then I came back and sat down here.

I am not making progress this way.

I want to sex my new laptop. It is hot. Also I have a bracelet that matches it. I am JUST THAT COOL. I had the bracelet first, btw. Cyberhobo ftw.

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